Are We Having Fun Yet?

Sometimes when you’re out on the road, you’ll find that you’re just not having a good time when you expected to be having the time of your life. (Sometimes you're being attacked by the pigeons you were trying to feed.) This happens to everyone, from first timers to seasoned travelers. Add that to the guilt of having a bad time when you're on a vacation you've been dreaming about for months, and your trip can start to feel like a chore. Here are some things to help figure out what’s bringing you down, and get you back on the right track to having an amazing time.

Jet Lag
It’s really, really hard to get into the swing of things when you’re exhausted throughout the day, but wide away at 4 AM. The best way to fight jet lag is to not get it in the first place, which is easier said than done.

If you start your trip out well rested, you’ll be in a much better position to adjust to your new time zone. That can be as simple as getting a good sleep in the week leading up to your flight, especially the night before – sorry, but that means foregoing the last minute 2 AM packing session. Intentionally booking later flights to avoid having to get up at the crack of dawn to get to the airport to make your early take off makes a huge difference for me. Getting up at a decent hour and having a little extra time to get out of the house instead of rushing around bleary eyed at 4 AM can go a long way toward keeping you from feeling exhausted and frantic before you even board the plane. I don't care if it's an amazing deal for the 5 AM departure, I know I won't sleep the night before out of fear of missing my alarm and missing the flight, so any savings are canceled out by losing two nights of sleep. 

Once you've made it to the airport in one piece and boarded the plane, set your clocks to the time of your destination, and try your hardest not to think about what time it “should” be from that point forward – that only makes things worse.

Try to get some sleep on the flight. If you use any sort of sleep aids, this is the time for them. If you don’t take a prescription sleeping pill, try melatonin or a homeopathic remedy, like Jet Zone (I swear by this stuff, it makes a huge difference for me), and follow the directions on the box. It’s a good idea to try out anything new that you’re planning to take on the plane while you’re still at home, just in case you have an unexpected reaction – better to learn about any fun side effects on the ground than at 30,000 feet. Stay hydrated, bring some healthy, non-salty snacks to eat on the plane, and skip the alcohol and caffeine. A sleep mask (I sleep with this one every night and won't travel without it), ear plugs or noise cancelling headphones, and/or a travel pillow can all help you get more comfortable for sleeping semi-reclined. With all of this in place, I still can't get much sleep, but I do feel better just resting than watching four movies back to back.

Once you’ve arrived, get some exercise outdoors to help you adjust, even just an easy walk, and reset yourself to your new time zone by eating at normal mealtimes and doing your best to set a reasonable bedtime (6 PM is not reasonable). If at all possible, try to have a relaxed first day or two to give yourself some time to get into the swing of things – get a good night’s sleep, don't schedule any 7AM tours so you can sleep in a little bit, have a leisurely breakfast, and do some easy sightseeing. You might not be able to cram as much in as you would like in those first couple of days, but you’re setting yourself up to be able to make the most of the rest of your trip, especially if it's a long one.

If your jet lag is hanging on for dear life, try to spend a day without caffeine, keep getting exercise outdoors, and take some melatonin right before bed time. Even if you can’t sleep, stay in bed and rest. Breathe deeply and focus on relaxing. Do your best to avoid napping during the day, this will just make it harder to sleep at night.

You’re Sick
When you don’t feel well, the last thing you want to do is to be on the go all day.  On a trip to San Francisco earlier this year I ended up with the flu, and I was miserable. I had to cancel all of my plans with friends and just spent the time lying around the apartment feeling horrible on top of feeling sorry for myself. Luckily, San Francisco is a place we visit a lot, and I know it's a place I'll be visiting in the not too distant future, so it wasn't the worst  thing ever, and I knew that if I pushed myself I'd just feel worse and probably get a lot of other people sick. But it still wasn't fun.

Always travel with a small personalized first aid kit containing some bandages, ibuprofen, aspirin, and something for blister relief – there’s no need to pack your entire medicine cabinet and you should be able to find basic over the counter medicines in most of the world, but some basics will save you a zombielike shuffle to the store when you just want to lie down. Immunity boosters like Emergen-C or Airborne are ideal to keep you well but also blast out any sickness you might pick up. If you tend to suffer from digestive issues, assume that eating strange food will aggravate your system. Be sure to bring anything you regularly take for relief, plus herbal tea bags like peppermint or ginger. They can be a big help and take up little to no space in your suitcase.

If you get seriously ill or have an injury, you should consult a doctor. Your hotel may have a doctor, and if they don’t they should be able to point you to a physician in the area. Your guidebook should also have recommendations for where to seek medical attention and hopefully have a listing or two for a doctor that speaks English. Pharmacies can be great references as well, and many pharmacists are able to diagnose minor issues and give you the medication you need, often for a fraction of what you would pay in the US.

Culture Shock
You’ve traveled halfway around the world on your dream vacation and you should be in heaven, but you just can’t get used to (fill in the blank): everybody smoking, the heat, people cutting in line, the lack of ice, the traffic, people constantly harassing you to buy something, etc. The whole point of traveling is to get out of your comfort zone and experience a different culture, but even if you have an idea what you’re in for when you get off the plane there can still be friction in adjusting, and things that wouldn’t normally bother you are getting under your skin because there are so many other things to adjust to. The farther you are from your own culture, the harder it can be – an American traveling to Canada, England, or Australia probably won’t have much of a problem, but an American traveling to Egypt, Brazil, or Vietnam will probably be in for a jolt. There’s really not a lot that you can do about this, but trying to give yourself a little sense of home, be it a break from eating the local cuisine or a quiet evening in watching a movie or TV show, can help restore you sense of adventure so you can tolerate and enjoy the unknown when you’re back in the thick of it.

Adjust Your Expectations
The problem with translating travel dreams into reality is that reality can be, well, real. You may have dreamt of a private, romantic kiss at the top of the Eiffel Tower, and now you’re here – with hundreds of other people, all jostling to get the perfect shot with their selfie stick. You may have imagined strolling along the canals of Venice, but you didn’t imagine that they would stink to high heaven on a hot summer day. Do the locals seem rude? Unless you’re going to Disneyland, you’re visiting a real, working place that is the home of lots of real live people, who are not there just waiting for a chance to enhance your travel experience. Put yourself in their shoes and imagine how you would appreciate being waylaid on your way to work by a tourist who doesn’t speak your language and essentially wants you to walk them to a museum nowhere near where you’re going, and think of how you would respond. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and accept that you live in the real world, not on a movie set, and appreciate where you are for what it is, not what you thought it would be. Focus on what’s going right on your trip, not what’s going wrong. You can’t always change what’s happening, but you can always change how you react to it.

The line outside San Marco in Venice - and this is off season!

Crowd Control
Sometimes dealing with the sheer volume of people can really wear you down, especially if you’re traveling in high season or just hitting the top tourist destinations. When the crush of humanity starts getting on your nerves, it’s time to come up for a breather. Recovering from this can be as easy as taking some time off from the hustle and bustle - find a secluded piazza for a picnic lunch, take a stroll in a quiet park, or pop into a peaceful little church or temple. Avoid crowds at the sights by going early or late (late should free you from the presence of the big tour groups, who tend to be on the move from then morning through the afternoon). Many sights have later hours on a certain day of the week, so choose a 6 PM visit where you can instead of 11 in the morning. You’ll have a much greater appreciation for art when you can look at it without someone accidentally elbowing you in the back (for the third time) while they’re trying to take a photo.

Take a look at your itinerary. If all you're doing is hopping from sight to sight on a hop on/hop off tour bus, you're probably not going to encounter anyone but hordes of other tourists. If this is getting you down, make some revisions to your plans. Look at a map and choose a destination off the tourist track, like a small church, a good bakery, or a nice cafe nowhere near a five-star sight, and go have a meal, a cup of coffee and/or a glass of wine, or a pastry and wander around the neighborhood. You might miss out on museum or a historical building, but you'll encounter the real, everyday life of the place you're visiting, which is just as important.

Your Pace Is Killing You
When you planned your trip, visiting eight cities in ten days sounded like a great way to "see it all". Now that you’re actually doing it, you’re cursing yourself for planning so much moving around. An easy solution to this problem is just to slow things down (provided it’s not a trip for work where you’re locked into meetings and appointments – if that’s the case, just accept it and try to make the best of it, and remember this for planning future trips). Look at your remaining itinerary – are there some stops that you can cut out? This can be a little sticky if you’ve pre-paid for anything or if you’re canceling hotel reservations on short notice. You may have to just accept the fact that you’ll lose a little bit of money, but if you’re choosing between that and being miserable for the rest of your vacation, just accept the financial hit. Try taking a vacation from your vacation in a place with a slower pace, and do what you need to do to recharge your batteries. Sleep in. Get a massage. Go to the beach. Spend an afternoon in a park. Sip a glass of wine at a café on a quiet square. When you slow down, you just might find that you see more than if you’re racing through to the next stop on your list.

Give Yourself Permission to Have a Bad Day
You can be on vacation in paradise and still be in a bad mood. It really is okay, and it doesn’t make you an irredeemably horrible person. Sometimes you just have to embrace your grouchy mood to get past it. Try not to lash out or to take it out on anybody, but you can't guilt trip yourself into being in a better mood. No one is happy all the time, and you don't get to choose the time and place when that can hit you. If you're traveling with other people, try to take some time for yourself - sit out the next sight and hang back at your lodgings for a leisurely morning, take yourself for a walk, or get some exercise.

You're Feeling Homesick
I feel like homesickness tends to set in on longer trips or trips that are more challenging, especially if you're not traveling with the people who feel like home to you. Luckily we live in the digital age, so getting in touch with people back home isn't too hard, so if you're missing someone make a date to Face Time, Skype, or have some sort of video chat. If you're not missing people so much as the comforts of home, take a break from your trip and do something that you would (or could) do at home - eschew exotic food for the day and get pizza (FYI - Pizza Hut is EVERYWHERE), grab a mocha at Starbucks, and take yourself out to a movie (in English). If you're missing a furry friend (this is always my problem) try to make some new furry friends. There are dog parks all over the world that you can visit sans-dog or just keep an eye out walking around - the world is full of dogs, and you can pet them all! Remember your dog manners and ask their human if you can pet them (learning how to say "Oh, so cute!" in another language is a great ice breaker with dog-owners and parents). 

You and Your Travel Partner Are Just Not on the Same Page
Traveling can put a lot of pressure on any relationship, be it romantic, platonic, or professional. Spending that much time with someone, with no buffer of work, friends, and separate interests can be overwhelming, especially when you don’t want to do the same things or don’t want to travel at the same pace. While it’s fantastic to travel with someone who can share in the beauty of a place, it can also be very refreshing to take some time to yourself to move at your own speed and do exactly what you want. Your mom wants to spend all day in museums and you don’t ever want to see another painting as long as you live? Make a plan to meet up for lunch or dinner somewhere, and go do your own thing while she’s on the prowl for Picassos. Your friend takes forever to get ready and can’t get out of the hotel before 11? Sleep in, or head out early for a morning walk with a plan to meet at a café down the street for a late breakfast – she’ll feel less rushed and you won’t feel like you’re wasting your day sitting around waiting, and you’ll both be much happier to hang out when you reconnect. You don’t need to spend every single minute with your travel buddy. It can be really freeing to each go explore on your own and meet back up later to share stories of your adventures. Geoffrey and I will regularly do this - he'd rather be riding a bike around than visiting a sixth pâtisserie, so he'll go do just that while I drool over pastries to my heart's content without a sullen husband waiting impatiently for me to be done. When we meet up later that day, I'll have all manner of delicacies for us to enjoy while he tells me about his exploration of the city on two wheels.

Once you’re feeling like yourself again and having a great time, be mindful of how you’re feeling so you don’t fall back into the doldrums. Focus on the positive and even if things are going wrong, remember that misadventures generally make for the best travel stories.